Telling Tales — Sunday vs Falkland

So I’ve been given the job of not so literary genius of our shenanigans in the field yesterday (apologies to GOAT Tommy booker prize Wood). Firstly, important to mention that we could only field a team of 10 unusually for a Sunday (thanks Pete, Larry let down😂). Nevertheless we had fun and nice to see Dobbo making his return to RCC for many a moon, top lad and of course our regular lovely Pol for helping out and getting stuck in… Big thanks.

So how did it go?… Jamie was stand in capt and not sure who won the toss but we batted first (again unusually but I liked that). There was a bit of argy with retiring at 50 which is friendly Sunday RCC rules (sadly the visitors got their way). Nick and Laurence opened the batting facing some really fast pace young bowlers which we are used to when playing Falkland. I dont remember the exact sequence as I was scoring but it sort went a bit like this, Laurence got out😂😂😂😂Unfortunately cleanly bowled at some pace it looked like as it didn’t pitch due to the conditions and went straight under the willow, not before getting a lovely 4 ( the outfield was super slow too) so a grand total of 7. In comes Jamie big hitter but not for long unfortunately, a single, another single a 4 then caught behind by a good catch so back to the pavilion with 6 total to help Steph out with their little un. So up steps Dobbo our saviour (we hoped) conscious that Dobbo wasn’t going to be running the fast singles he settled in with a few nice batting block shots again against the super speed of the never ending smorgasbord of fast bowlers but a couple knotched up on the ol scoreboard until he succumbed to an edge which it took behind in the slips for another beauty of a catch . Dobbo desperate to help out with a few runs to help the cause, shared his frustration on Colin’s nicely prepared crease but bashing the 💩 out of it ( it’s okay, we’ve all done it, even Col!). So I should probably update you all on where we are on overs at this point… I think we are in about 37 runs for 3 and 11 overs, so not so good, with Nick thankfully making the remaining runs with some beautiful shots and a few 4’s (legend) he did change his bat but not sure when to leather a few more to the bowls club if possible. IN COMES THE WALL…. Big hopes for this legend of a man to run a few up with his best batting mate … Yes, off to a 3 to get him on the board, then a 4, a couple of singles and yes I’m thinking our prayers have been answered and we can stick it to the Alf Garnett grumpy fecker oppo captain… I’m feeling smug with pen in hand waiting for the umpire to do that wavy finger thing or point two fingers to the sky and I relax thinking that I don’t need to pad up just yet as I’m enjoying my cup of tea with my bestie scoring robocop…So despite the walls best efforts, he stayed in a whole lot longer than the rest of us ( apart from Nick) the wall managed a couple more 4’s and singles before he was also caught by the well positioned outfield for a respectable 19 runs..Well done the wall. Back to the clubhouse for Pol to use the Hall pads and bat ( for tall peeps!) who’s up next… ?? Yes Joe, desperate to whack a few into the stands so out he goes ready for action and still the smorgasbord of fast bowlers seem never ending but he’s well ard, can take on anything and anyone.. come on Joe Boy , no pressure 😳. So update on runs etc, 89 runs 21 overs 4 wickets thanks to Nick and Warwick…Unfortunately it wasn’t to be and in one over Joe is walking back to the pavilion after 1 run and a pearler LBW from the sonic speed bowlers….. oh sh#t it’s me now, quickly I get ready pass Joe on the way in to hear him mutter “ I was just too slow” not deterred by this I thought I need to get a few for the team here, out there goes Seano . Nick met me at the crease wearing his Stirling Moss Mille Miglia 1959 pith helmet and said we need to run them up Seano and then started talking wilts cricket technical sh#t which I duly acknowledged and nodded my head but had no idea what he had said. I was also conscious that Nick loves a run out as Steve at the T20 was on the receiving end of! Just saying Nick….Seano’s objective was, don’t get out first ball FFS…. Nothing else mattered. So change of bowler and up stepped a 4’6 11 year old, feck what can be worse, I would much prefer the fasties as at least if I’m bowled I could blame the pace… Anyway he bowled a couple nice straight ones which I managed to defend and in between getting a massive 4 runs ( singles!)…So facing the young un again, nice and slow it came , I’m thinking Seano a 4 possibly 6, swing I go, no sound of leather on willow, just a swoosh, I turn about and there is middle stump lying on the ground , elation all around the field as Falkland high 5 the child…. I wander back to my cup of tea which is still warm with 4 runs. Laurence had taken over the scoring for me and Malc but got confused on the extras and was giving 2 runs, I thanked him all the same as he very kindly scribed til the end…who’s next, yes my scoring partner Robo…..out Malc goes with great confidence to nail a few and settled in with some lovely batting stroke defending but sadly going for a few singles was just a tad too far and unfortunately the gusto of Nicks blistering pace got the better of Robo and back to the pavilion with a run out on the score card…So I think we are 109 for 27 overs and 7 wickets….On with the extra long pads out steps Pol to show these guys how to do it… Go Pol go… Go she did, fantastic blocking and running between the sticks for the singles with her team buddy opening batsman Nick who is racking up the runs to the end and what an end it was for Nick, as unfortunately was caught after an unusually mistimed stroke which saw him finish on a superb 59 total 5 fours countless 2’s and many singles… RESPECT mate… Nick wandered back to the pavilion fuming with himself as he normally does but hey, you kept us in the game💪🏏. Not long to go and boom boom made up last man and although wasn’t in to show his true batting skills for too long he made some lovely batting strokes proving he can move up that batting order. So both Pol and boom boom not out and Pol finishing on 3 runs, well done gal…So the game finished on firstly 151 then after Laurence’s extras adjustments we ended on 144… A gallant effort team Rampers… A lovely tea and now back on field for our turn to get em out…

So after a very nice tea, 2 rennies and a glut of water for me, we sauntered out to begin our fielding and see how these guys are going to shape up. Jamie gave us his Winston Churchill rally up Along the lines of “never give up, never never give up” nicely said Jamie. So off we trotted into position with boom boom opening the bowling from the pavilion end and as usual bang on point with a maiden over get in there boom boom, nicely done. Up steps the WALL with his newly found ultra affective new pace bowling ready for action I say. I gave the ball a lucky clean on my neatly pressed RCC top and gave the ball a kiss for good measure…. Yes it worked, the wall takes the wicket nicely bowled mate and I think with a maiden too. Get in there 1 down for nil runs. Up steps big Al again and couple of dots and then a mix up in the wicket and a great arm from Laurence to Nick for a Bootiful run out, that’s 2 down for 5 runs, looking good or so we thought! Up steps a new batsman and boy did he get to grips with the boundary as he pummelled his way through the bowler with a couple of quick 4’s matching his team mate who came in at #3 and did the same. It was clear these were the two big hitters brought in to teach us a lesson in how to bat and to be fair they certainly did that with Jamie and I trying to keep the runs down with some decent enough bowling but these boys were a different class and boundaries for every ball pitched short to them. Coming in at 5 runs 2 wickets and 2 overs, their partnership continued until we reached 16 overs and 111 runs where I managed to get a wicket and send one back to pavilion. Still hope, Jamie gathered us in again and gave us his rallying talk, “we can do this, everyman, women go for everything in the field, back up is key and plenty of chat in the field “ This was to intimidate I think……. We continue our battle and between myself and Jamie we took another 3 wickets a caught and bowled from me sending their big hitter back to the stands on 81 which by now was about 21 overs and 126 runs and still plenty of batsman left to frequent the crease. Jamie bags an important two wickets which were welcomed but alas we were still desperately short of worrying them into a defeat. We continued with our commitment to chase every ball and chase we did and some of us older folk tasting blood as we ran! Not really just a Steve Hawes saying but you get the picture…

So in the 25th over they crossed the line with a 4 off my last over, game over, a tired bunch all around but a massive team effort with great leadership from our very own Winny Churchill. Thanks every RCC player, I had a great day with some fun peeps which I look forward to playing with every week…. Ramsbury CC is special, let’s keep it that way . Off to the pub for the ridiculous scoring mechanism of Boom Boom and everyone observing the bamboozled look on Joes face to witness Al at his finest. Jamie took charge of the vlog and a damn fine job it was too. Nick got double points again the jammy bstd and would appear to be running away with the Al award bstd!!!

So there ends the tale of our fine day of cricket in our lovely village

As a disclaimer, this is complete work of fiction or most of it so don’t quote me as most is bollox…

See some of you at the T20…

Seano

[The biggest of thanks to the new GOAT Seano for this write up!]