Telling Tails — Sunday vs Kennet Valley
Ramsbury’s season rolled on this week with the welcome return of a familiar foe in Kennet Valley. With form building, bellies full of optimism (and later, much more), and a healthy crowd dotted round the boundary, the scene was set for another afternoon of village drama. Jamie took the captains armband with Chris otherwise engaged in the local joys of charitable endeavours.
The tone for the day was set early — very early in fact — by Alan, who opened the bowling and, in true Alan style, produced a delivery that raised eyebrows, pulses and at least one umpire’s arm. It bounced twice before dislodging the bails. The field froze. Surely a no-ball? The umpires conferred, uncertain. But in a fine display of village cricket sportsmanship, the batsman confirmed the second bounce had come after the crease — making it fair, legal, and, crucially, out. A bizarre start, but a wicket on the board and credit to Kennet Valley for their honesty.
Alan, no stranger to the unconventional, went on to take another couple of scalps, combining accuracy, cunning, and the occasional grunt of satisfaction. With the ball doing a bit and the pitch offering more than enough, he was joined by Jeremy — and with that, the old guard were back.
Jeremy bowled with devilish accuracy, beating the bat as frequently the gins were poured at the Ramsbury Ball on Friday night. It was the sort of spell that deserved a five-fer but delivered just two wickets. Cruel, really, but it’s cricket — and the scorebook never tells the full story.
And then came Warwick.
Whether it was the subtle breeze, a tweak to his run-up, or just that he’d finally remembered to stretch, Warwick turned in his best performance of the season. His second wicket — a true "training ground" classic — which saw the ball nip off the seam and kiss the top of off-stump with the delicacy of a lover's whisper. Poetry in motion. The batsman just stared at the stumps, like a man betrayed, but beaten man.
Kennet Valley, to their credit, stayed strong throughout. Wickets fell regularly, but around drinks they began to flirt with momentum. Cue a bit of captaincy nous: a double-end change saw Jamie and Harry join the fray. Their brief was simple — make life uncomfortable — and they delivered. Both nabbed crucial middle-order wickets, halting any thoughts the visitors had of a cheeky acceleration.
And Warwick, keen to stay in the action, pinged a delightful pick-up into Nick’s hands to run out a batsman who was otherwise holding strong.
To close things out and take the final wickets, were Warwick and Jeremy, back for a second spell, but still full of beans. Jeremy, not to be outdone by Alan’s earlier antics, twice attempted a double-bounce wicket of his own. It didn’t work — both deliveries simply bounced twice well before the crease — but you’ve got to admire the commitment to try and mirror a Ramsbury score-making great.
Our fielding, well, we took it to Kennet Valley. We feel strong out there these days, that we believe we can run out the batsman almost every ball, and the attempts themselves leave batters second guessing and forcing other errors. Despite Jamie diving over the ball in his heroic attempts to stop several cover drives, we chased lots down in a fast-paced and freshly cut outfield. Another very good performance in the field, and one which saved plenty of runs.
And in addition, it wasn’t until the 15th over (of 35) that a wide was signalled. In fact, only 18 extras hit the board, and half of those where byes of leg byes… we’ve had weeks were ‘extras’ where the opposition’s highest scorer… another marker of our continued improvement as a squad!
And then to tea — and what a spread it was. The team contribution theme is working wonders this season, with a buffet that left both opposition and onlookers well-fed and content. Star of the table? That would be Nick’s quail eggs with celery salt. Naturally, we took the piss, but between mouthfuls, even the harshest critics were asking if they might return next week. Unusual? Yes. Delicious? Also yes.
With a modest total to chase and stomachs full, Ramsbury set about the task with brisk intent. Sam took the lead, smashing a swift 50 that left the opposition reeling and the scorers scrambling for ink. He retired to polite applause and audible relief from the Kennet Valley bowlers.
Laurence, aka “Top Cat”, batted alongside Sam — his unique blend of French cricket sweeps and nursery-rhyme footwork once again proving baffling to the opposition. He kept the scoreboard ticking and the bowlers guessing, turning over the strike with awkward elegance. His innings ended not with a wicket taken, but given — having accidentally dislodged his own bails, he turned to walk, much to the umpire's confusion and the opposition's obliviousness. A rare and noble moment of self-dismissal. Top Cat by name, gentleman by nature.
Jamie looked set to go big before picking out a fielder in the deep, while Charlie, continuing his fine form with the willow, calmly steered us home. Fittingly, it was a boundary that sealed it, struck with the quiet confidence of a man who knows how to time a run chase and with his pocket sausage untouched. Nick, fresh from culinary fame, stood beside him at the other end — bat in hand, celery salt probably still on his finger tips.
Another fine win for Ramsbury, fuelled by honest bowling, sharp fielding, culinary eccentricity, and a batting lineup that mixed brute force with moments of accidental elegance.
Next up, Leg Rovers, midweek!
They’ve got their back up after a couple of losses to us… the bigger the crowd the better, tell your friends!
Go well, Cheers!